Tanning = Boot!

Would you like to know a secret?

I bet you do you saucy minks, well it has to do with anti ageing.  Does that incite your interest?  Well I have the answer to all your ageing problems, the lines, the dehydration, and the age spots!
Wanna know?  You have to come a little closer, thats right lean in so I can whisper into your ear the secret to ageing well....

WEAR YOUR GOD DAMN SUNSCREEN YOU MORON, OR WEAR A FUCKING HAT!!!

Seriously, I'm not trying to be a mean women here but the truth is the sun will incur more damage on you than chronological ageing.  And sadly many of you are either oblivious or choose to ignore the fact that every time you lay your self out to bake in the sun like a Sunday roast you are causing irrevocable damage to your skin and health.

It makes me nuts to think that all these little teenagers who bow to the sun tan god will one day be sauntering up to a beautician begging to buy the newest thing to clear the damage.  Which will cost a lot of money and take years to work, and thats if your anal about applying and wear an SPF 70 to prevent any further damage.

But you know if the sun spots and wrinkles are not enough there is one more reason to consider; cancer!   Thats right people sun+skin= Melanoma which is one of the most common cancers, and although it is curable, many have died from it because of too much exposure or late diagnosis.  So you know it's not just about the vanity kids!

NOT A SUN-HATER
I am not against getting some sun (emphisis on the word SOME), in fact it's a rich source of vitamin D which makes ya feel great!  But when people can not go a day without being in one of those sunshine coffins it scares me, and it should scare them too.  Its clearly an addiction for some, and mental health professionals should be talking to these people.

TANNED IS BEAUTIFUL
But fucking orange is not (I apologize to anyone who is naturally orange, I love you and your crazy orange-ness.... its the ones who are wannabes I have little patience for)
Does wrinkled skin that looks like a suede boot sound sexy to you?   Well I've looked into my crystal ball and all you Tanaholics have a boot-iful future.

Boo!  This is your future, now go buy a damn hat!

For some, the ugly one is in the middle.