And I've put together some tried and true products that are good on almost any skin colour, and I will be using myself on my big day. All of these products are user friendly and help to create that "natural" fresh look.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wedding Make-up Special!
I'm getting married!
And I've put together some tried and true products that are good on almost any skin colour, and I will be using myself on my big day. All of these products are user friendly and help to create that "natural" fresh look.
And I've put together some tried and true products that are good on almost any skin colour, and I will be using myself on my big day. All of these products are user friendly and help to create that "natural" fresh look.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tanning = Boot!
Would you like to know a secret?
I bet you do you saucy minks, well it has to do with anti ageing. Does that incite your interest? Well I have the answer to all your ageing problems, the lines, the dehydration, and the age spots!
Wanna know? You have to come a little closer, thats right lean in so I can whisper into your ear the secret to ageing well....
WEAR YOUR GOD DAMN SUNSCREEN YOU MORON, OR WEAR A FUCKING HAT!!!
Seriously, I'm not trying to be a mean women here but the truth is the sun will incur more damage on you than chronological ageing. And sadly many of you are either oblivious or choose to ignore the fact that every time you lay your self out to bake in the sun like a Sunday roast you are causing irrevocable damage to your skin and health.
It makes me nuts to think that all these little teenagers who bow to the sun tan god will one day be sauntering up to a beautician begging to buy the newest thing to clear the damage. Which will cost a lot of money and take years to work, and thats if your anal about applying and wear an SPF 70 to prevent any further damage.
But you know if the sun spots and wrinkles are not enough there is one more reason to consider; cancer! Thats right people sun+skin= Melanoma which is one of the most common cancers, and although it is curable, many have died from it because of too much exposure or late diagnosis. So you know it's not just about the vanity kids!
NOT A SUN-HATER
I am not against getting some sun (emphisis on the word SOME), in fact it's a rich source of vitamin D which makes ya feel great! But when people can not go a day without being in one of those sunshine coffins it scares me, and it should scare them too. Its clearly an addiction for some, and mental health professionals should be talking to these people.
TANNED IS BEAUTIFUL
But fucking orange is not (I apologize to anyone who is naturally orange, I love you and your crazy orange-ness.... its the ones who are wannabes I have little patience for)
Does wrinkled skin that looks like a suede boot sound sexy to you? Well I've looked into my crystal ball and all you Tanaholics have a boot-iful future.
I bet you do you saucy minks, well it has to do with anti ageing. Does that incite your interest? Well I have the answer to all your ageing problems, the lines, the dehydration, and the age spots!
Wanna know? You have to come a little closer, thats right lean in so I can whisper into your ear the secret to ageing well....
WEAR YOUR GOD DAMN SUNSCREEN YOU MORON, OR WEAR A FUCKING HAT!!!
Seriously, I'm not trying to be a mean women here but the truth is the sun will incur more damage on you than chronological ageing. And sadly many of you are either oblivious or choose to ignore the fact that every time you lay your self out to bake in the sun like a Sunday roast you are causing irrevocable damage to your skin and health.
It makes me nuts to think that all these little teenagers who bow to the sun tan god will one day be sauntering up to a beautician begging to buy the newest thing to clear the damage. Which will cost a lot of money and take years to work, and thats if your anal about applying and wear an SPF 70 to prevent any further damage.
But you know if the sun spots and wrinkles are not enough there is one more reason to consider; cancer! Thats right people sun+skin= Melanoma which is one of the most common cancers, and although it is curable, many have died from it because of too much exposure or late diagnosis. So you know it's not just about the vanity kids!
NOT A SUN-HATER
I am not against getting some sun (emphisis on the word SOME), in fact it's a rich source of vitamin D which makes ya feel great! But when people can not go a day without being in one of those sunshine coffins it scares me, and it should scare them too. Its clearly an addiction for some, and mental health professionals should be talking to these people.
TANNED IS BEAUTIFUL
But fucking orange is not (I apologize to anyone who is naturally orange, I love you and your crazy orange-ness.... its the ones who are wannabes I have little patience for)
Does wrinkled skin that looks like a suede boot sound sexy to you? Well I've looked into my crystal ball and all you Tanaholics have a boot-iful future.
 |
| Boo! This is your future, now go buy a damn hat! |
 |
| For some, the ugly one is in the middle. |
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Coming soon....Product Reviews, because I like you and want you to be pretty!
When I see a grown woman clutching a mascara to her heart and gazing off into the distance like some Jane Austin character, I know this mascara must be good. When I see multiple acts of the same nature then I know a product is fucking good and should be shared. 12+ years working on the retail side of cosmetics and skin care has allowed me to try and test hundreds of products. I also listen to what other women are telling me. Because just like the deliriously happy woman with her mascara, I also experience the opposite. The woman slamming down her no good product like a jilted lover. I don't let these women walk around with all this hatred, I ask them what that no-good dirty product did! After I talk to the woman some more to look for possible signs of crazy, I then read the ingrediants to see what the problem is. After that I wait to see if more women come in with the same issue. If I get two or three more then it becomes clear that this product is a piece of shit and no one should have to buy or use it. Unless your mean to me or someone I like, then I sell it to you because thats Karma bitch!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Getting something off my chest!
Sometimes when I'm at work I catch people doing things that drive me bonkers and I need to get it off my chest. These are behaviours that are rude, annoying and most times disgusting.
1) Please for the love of god stop putting eyeliners, mascara's, lipsticks and eye shadows on YOUR FACE! It's teeming with grossness and a good soaking of alcohol and a layer removed is the only safe way to try them with out exposing yourself to any number of illnesses. But the mascara's are a no go, you can never proporly clean those suckers, so don't bother unless you like pink eye.
2) Nothing on the market will make you look like Gwenyth Paltrow (or whomever is your beauty archetype), so please don't get angry with me because you tried an eye cream for three days, and naturally didn't get any results. I'm not your fairy godmother, nor am I a wizard and I never promise a product will perform miracles. Those ideas came from some place else, and if it's from any voices in your head then I suggest skin care is not the kind of "care" you need.
3) And lastly in addition to not having supernatural powers I am also not employed by any cosmetic companies marketing department. So when Revlon discontinues your favourite lipstick (which they absolutely will) please don't look at me like I gave you cancer of the puppy. I had NOTHING to do with that decision. Believe me I didn't bust into Revlon's board meeting and demand they take that particular colour out of commission just because I knew that would ruin your life. Seriously, when Guerlain stopped making my favourite lipstick I didn't blame you, I blamed the morons on Guerlain's marketing team that decided to discontinue the best red colour ever, smooth and long lasting, rich colour.... *sniff*... I'm clearly not over that, BUT I never treated someone like shit for no reason because of it. Just saying!
1) Please for the love of god stop putting eyeliners, mascara's, lipsticks and eye shadows on YOUR FACE! It's teeming with grossness and a good soaking of alcohol and a layer removed is the only safe way to try them with out exposing yourself to any number of illnesses. But the mascara's are a no go, you can never proporly clean those suckers, so don't bother unless you like pink eye.
2) Nothing on the market will make you look like Gwenyth Paltrow (or whomever is your beauty archetype), so please don't get angry with me because you tried an eye cream for three days, and naturally didn't get any results. I'm not your fairy godmother, nor am I a wizard and I never promise a product will perform miracles. Those ideas came from some place else, and if it's from any voices in your head then I suggest skin care is not the kind of "care" you need.
3) And lastly in addition to not having supernatural powers I am also not employed by any cosmetic companies marketing department. So when Revlon discontinues your favourite lipstick (which they absolutely will) please don't look at me like I gave you cancer of the puppy. I had NOTHING to do with that decision. Believe me I didn't bust into Revlon's board meeting and demand they take that particular colour out of commission just because I knew that would ruin your life. Seriously, when Guerlain stopped making my favourite lipstick I didn't blame you, I blamed the morons on Guerlain's marketing team that decided to discontinue the best red colour ever, smooth and long lasting, rich colour.... *sniff*... I'm clearly not over that, BUT I never treated someone like shit for no reason because of it. Just saying!
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